did a thing with my hair today 💀🎀

did a thing with my hair today 💀🎀

Canon EOS 5D Mark II
Collection, Markus Mai

Collection, Markus Mai

The wolves howl for you,
and we are breaking our bones in this forest

In this treetop of wants,
in this body full of timber,
in these spaces where you prowl out of the door
and my arms freeze open to the shape of your waist.

like this -
stone cold waiting.

This is how we do:
the beasts cry for you, teeth bared, incisors falling out of their mouths,
snarling guttural at the moon.
I do the same.

I leave my gentle at the door and at your feet.
I leave my surrender wide eyed and holy-mouthed.
You crawl back into our bed sometime after midnight,
blood in your teeth and clutch my hair in your fists

lift me by the neck and taste the back of my mouth
hands around my throat - surrender
we break our bones together.

You take my spine and hold it between your teeth.
Shake and release. Shake and release.
I touch the ground with my toes and you bury all your brutal in places that it cannot be lost.
I hold your face and tender you
and we break our bones together.

— Azra.T “Howl” 

James Blake

ignore everybody else..
we’re alone now.

(James Blake - Retrograde)


In bloom, Rocio Montoya

I’m lonely tonight.

"I’m still depressed, but how depressed I am varies, which is good. Much of the time, it’s a comfortable numbness that just makes things feel muted. Other times, I’m standing in the shower or something and I can feel the nothingness hurtling toward me at eight thousand miles per hour and there’s nothing I can really do aside from let it happen and wait until it goes away again."
Allie Brosh

We get old like this:

we look forward to winter, to staying indoors and being merciful with ourselves
we kiss with less urgency and more delicacy
we close the blinds more
we keep stamps in our purses
we look down the length of our bodies in the bathtub and there is no judgment, just a quiet acceptance
we forget birthdays, including our own
we wake up to pee in the middle of the night
we visit the doctor either much more out of worry or much less out of indifference
we forget about the people that made fun of us in school
we stop rejecting seconds at dinner
we drink wine just to get to sleep
we leave lights on
we do not smile when men tell us to
we take our coffee with milk, but no sugar
we gain weight and do little about it
we read more
we go out less
we forget a vital ingredient every time we attempt to bake something
we let the lovers go when they want to
we don’t take them back
we have more lotions, but less perfumes
we miss our parents
we ignore telephone calls
we decline social invitations
we let the animals sleep in bed with us
we are less jealous
less guilty of shifting blame
less angry about our childhoods
less afraid of embarrassment
less consumed with loneliness
less concerned by others’ preconceptions of us
less arrogant
less likely to stay quiet in the face of ignorance
less fearful
less self-pitying
less quick-to-fall-in-love
no less wild
no less needy
no less human


I know better now, and so I am trying to do better. It is painful because the old ways are so comfortable but I know in my heart that pain is the only thing that will bloom if I go backwards and plant the same seeds I always did.

I want to feel the sun kiss my skin, and watch the light grow inside of me. So yes, I know better, and yes I will try to do better. I will trust that this uncomfortable feeling will fade into peace, and I will be one step closer to being free in me.

I am letting go of many things, thoughts, feelings, and people that have weighed me down until the water filled my lungs. I am learning how to breathe again without them, and it feels bittersweet but I know this is what is right for me.

I won’t explain or justify myself to anyone. I will live out my life with joy, with peace, with honesty, and I will not let anything unravel me again.

This is my story, and beautiful things will be written in each page. The light will soak into my words, and I will come alive in each chapter. No more holding back. No more pleasing you. No more making myself small to make you more. I am here, and I am going to take up space. I am going to live.

Dele Olanubi

I wanna know all the dreams that you keep beneath;
I want the words that you whisper when I’m asleep.
want to give back the things that I plan to take,
and I hope you won’t care.
but all your makeup’s running,
and I’m walking you home.

then my dick takes over
and I’m thinking about your lips..
but we’re too damn sober for mistakes like this.

(Prelow - Mistakes Like This)

gentle reminder that I also blog things I find amusing and interiors that I like.

I’d share my dinner mints with you.

I’d share my dinner mints with you.